Saturday, September 1, 2012

9 things I learned as a stay-at-home mom

1. It would be easier to infiltrate a foreign rebel military than the PTA.

2. When people ask what you do, they usually do not think laundry, cook, clean, volunteer, chauffer is not enough to fill a day.

3. You will eventually find an episode of Law & Order: SVU you have never seen.

4. $11.76 a book adds up quickly on your smart phone.

5. Volunteer groups do not readily accept help or suggestion, usually.

6. Your retired parents are always out doing something when you call in the day.

7. Your husband means “the house has never looked cleaner” as a compliment. You are still not speaking to him.

8. When no one compliments the dinner you made (mostly) from scratch, you are angry that you cannot fire your family.

9. The mom who is color-coordinated, packs homemade vegan, gluten-free, organic (I know, I do push the organics) lunches, is the chair of the PTA book drive, has 5 children (all born naturally at home with her husband singing softly and marveling at the power of her uterus) is NOT the best person to compare yourself to, unless, of course, you see a memo she wrote and it contains there instead of their. THEN YOU OWN HER!

Hats off to all of you!


  1. This is Kim's husband, Luke. Yes, I am an idiot and did not appreciate Kim's efforts here at home while she was working as a SAHM. As evidence, please reread #'s 7 and 8 above. The preceding was a confession to all the readers of the most talented writer in America too many people have never read. The following is for that same writer, the best wife and help-meet for whom a dumb, incredibly stupid, tongue-tied man could hope
    Sweetie, I am sorry that I acted like the things you did on a daily basis were not important enough for me to notice. And I am more sorry than I can say for #'s 7 and 8.


  2. Aww are much too hard on yourself! You aren't an idiot, look at who you chose for a wife! :) Seriously, thank you for always supoorting me, no matter what. And I know I don't recognize all of what you do every day.